Friday, April 22, 2005
Never one to tap ever so gently on the brake...
It's going to be a fullout of control spin.
- Evidently he still LIVES with his not-quite-divorced-yet-wife.
He can lie to my answering machine for a few days. Fuck. Fuckidy fuck fuck.
3:10 p.m. 2004-03-01b
So says my surrogate psychiatrist
On the way to work today I stopped and saw "My surrogate psychiatrist" Scary dan. Dan is better then
my real psychiatrist because he puts things into perspective for me.
Dan, "I just had to adopt the philosophy that I'm not going to go out with anyone who would go out
with me. That seemed to clear up a lot of issues."
Scary Dan has been my "surrogate psychiatrist" for many many years and unlike my real psychiatrist he
doesn't charge me $100 and make me cry. I just take him out to breakfast and I leave laughing.
Laughing is better than crying. Dan also pointed out the fact that I've cheated on The Captain twice with Kendoll
and the "Saturday night with the blonde bartender incident".
I'm calling us even.
The Captain is bringing his separation papers for me on Wednesday as I told him it was a requirement.
He's crying.
- I love you, I'm in love with you, I'll do anything...don't break my heart...
He is also changing his cell phone number because "Debbie the hooker" who he met in a restaurant in
November called him nine times this weekend wanting him to bail him out of jail. He thought he was
just lucky to have a cute blonde ask for his number. Can you people not see how this guy is PERFECT
for me?
From: Mom
Subject: Mel Gibson Movie
Against my better judgement, I went to see the Mel Gibson movie. They say the first few minutes grabs
you. Here is why. Why something is not quite right with the soul, the mind catches on first.
In the first few minutes, Jesus is in the garden, sweating blood because of what he knows he is going
to have to endure. The full moon is shineing brightly and Jesus with outstreatched arms, says Alah
and hebrew, and the words below say God, God, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. I wonder
almost out loud, What is Jesus worshiping the muslim moon God Allah for. For one thing, the Bible
says My Father, not God, and the Hebrew word for elahh (which probably sounds like allah means God)
and alah means to lament.) Are we seeing a hoax here perhaps to join the muslims to the christian
faith and againt the jews?
Vote now! who's more insane, me or my mom. And remember folks,
They don't lock people up in maximum security for no reason
Probably.
Later kids.
9:05 a.m. 2004-03-02
Out of the darkness
Well I've taken my meds everyday for a week and FINALLY dont feel like crying or blowing my head off.
That's something. I've been dealing with this bipolar
shit most of my adult life so I'm really good at tricking people into thinking I'm ok when I'm not. I
have to use the pill thingie that my sister Wink bought me the
last time I got committed because I never can remember if I took one or not.
We got another warning about inappropriate internet use at work today. This is therapy for me. Do they
want me keeping all this shit inside until I explode? I think not. I think it's in their best interest
to keep me calm, that's all I'm saying.
How's that "Not Drinking" coming along? you may ask:
didn't kiss any guys/girls but I still called Scary Dan to come pick us up and drive us home because
even if you have 7 beers and don't feel drunk the cops still can throw you in jail. If I get thrown in
jail, I want to at least FEEL drunk. Stupid cops.
but not as tasty as my step mom rhubarb
punch. That rhubarb punch was mighty tasty.
looked depressed. He's hard to trick.
I've cut WAY back. I consider my first week of sobriety an overwhelming success.
Later kids
9:42 a.m. 2004-03-03
How to deal with con artists
also Why I am distrustful of men
also I use to be nice, now I am not
I haven't had a roommate for a year, that's why I so
broke now. My last roommate kind of ruined me about
getting another. We got along real good. He cleaned
the house and made me dinner. He was entertaining. I
like being entertained. Anyway, when he would meet
women in bars he would lie to them. They would leave
messages on my answering machine not unlike the one
that I left for The
Captain last Sunday that "The wife?" heard. The
Captain is entertaining and has some conman traits.
So until I see some bank statements and legal
documents I'm not believing a word coming out of his
mouth.
I've kept the emails from Mr.Clean just in case he
ever takes me to court. I probably can delete them
now. It's been a year after all. If you were a judge
who would you believe?
March 3, 2003
From: Mr.Clean
I will be home tonight to pay you rent.
I didn't get paid until today. I will also be bringing
my clothes back over
that were at Brookes. we finally broke up. God it took
forever.
I don't ever want another relationship again, now
matter how short.
jeffrey
From: Me
- Too fucking late
March 4, 2003
From: Mr.Clean
I just got your e-mail, what do you mean too fuckin
late?
If that is the case, then when can I get my things?
I have your money
From: Me
your stuff will be on the porch tomorrow.
From: Mr.Clean
Is there anything I can do to start all over? I
will give you the
rent. I just needed a little break. I will be there
and stay there. Please
let me stay, I will do whatever it takes if you let
me.
From: Me
Nope.
From: Mr.Clean
Okay then, I am sorry to say the least. Can you tell
me a time when I can
come and pack it all up?
From: Me
After 7:00pm
From: Mr.Clean
ok, I will be there tomorrow to pack it up and clean
the room.
Sorry for the way it has been.
From: Mr.Clean
Can I have at least until Friday to find another
place?
From: Me
Nope.
From: Mr.Clean
I just want you to know that I am really sorry. There
has been a lot going
in my life lately and I just didn't know how to handle
it all..
From: Me
shouldn't you be at work?
From: Mr.Clean
I am at work, I really am sorry. I have been
thinking about my dad and
brother a lot lately, and I just didnt know how to
deal with it.
I wasn't even talking to my family lately. I just
wanted to be alone.
From: Me
- well you can be alone now.
From: Mr.Clean
I guess I have no choice. I will go looking for a
place tonight.
I know you are fed up and I dont blame you, but if you
would reconsider, you
will see a change for sure.
I dont even drink anymore, I havent in god knows how
long.
From: Me
Too bad you didn't think of emailing me like Friday
and telling me then. I know you know how to use a
phone. Hope you are happier at your new
residence.
From: Mr.Clean
I wish I would have too, but I was just ina
mood where I didnt want
to see anyone. There is a reason why, when my father
died, I talked to hime
on the phone before he passed away. He asked me if I
was going to see him
before he passes and I said yes, well you know what, I
was on a fire and I
couldnt get out in time. By time I got there he had
died. Those are the last
words I remember and I have to live with it.
No body can understand how I feel accept me. I finally
went to a counsepor
yesterday evening to talk about it.
And I don't have a new residence either.
From: Me
Oh give me a fucking break. You called and said you
had the $50 in your pocket ... tell it to your next
landlord. Also for your sake I hope "Lee" is a friend
of yours and not just someone you are scamming.
From: Mr.Clean
I did have your money in my pocket. I also have your
rent in my pocket to.
But I guess you dont need it.
From: Me
guess not
From: Mr.Clean
Once again, I am sorry. I will be there tomorrow
to get my things and
clean up the room.
From: Mr.Clean
I haven't even been snowboarding in the past month
either.
Can you tell me what made you decide to evict me, was
it because I was a few
days late on the rent?
From: Me
no. had you been in touch and told me you would not
get paid until now I would have let it slide. The $50
pissed me off along with "Lee" .
From: Mr.Clean
I did stop by to leave the $50.00, but I didn't have
my keys and it wasn't
until yesterday that I found them.
Can I get maybee get my things after work?
From: Mr.Clean
Well I about ready to get off, so I will just wait
until tomorrow to come
over and get my things.
Sorry
March 7, 2003
From: Mr.Clean
Sorry I dodn't make it over last night. i am sick and
was looking for a
place to live pretty late lst night.
Let me know when this weekend will be good for you.
Also, if you want my
passes to schweitzer, you can have them, I wont be
going anymore as my back
is screwed up again. I fell and messed it up.
jeffrey
I will clean the room all up and do the walls to so it
isnt dirty at all.
March 27
From: Mr.Clean
I am getting a vehicle this weekend to move my crap. I
also need a copy of
the phone bill.
Yes, I will show you a copy of the
fucking $287 phone bill, you fucker
March 31
From: Mr.Clean
I am trying to get a hold of you about the phone bill.
Do you have a copy?
May 2,
From: Mr.Clean
Will you please answer my e-mails about the phone bill
and my crap that is
there.
from me:
- Recon
You should have picked up your shit a month ago when
you said you would.
GoodWill picked up most of the stuff last Thursday.
There are two boxes of yours still on the porch. one
with porn, 1 with stuff out of the desk feel free to
pick them up or they will be going to the dump.
*Lee - some old guy who sent him money believing
Mr.Clean was a women he met on the internet.
To the dump I go. I believe Mr.Clean is still in jail
for the "Lee" thing.
Other entertaining conmen:
The Swindler
but he was when I was really really young and an
idealist not the hard bitter woman that I am today.
I hope the Captain isn't blowing smoke up my ass. For his sake.
7:18 a.m. 2004-03-04
Paranoia
par·a·noi·a
( P ) Pronunciation Key (pr-noi)
n.
A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often
strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
Extreme, irrational distrust of others.
I use to think that satelite dishes were trying to read my thoughts.
Those who voted for mom. WRONG. It's a toss up.
I'm relatively "all better now".
If you all haven't noticed, I've been under a little bit of "emotional distress" the past few weeks.
Last Friday in my haste, I inadvertently pasted a link (they say porn but it was link to SaveCraig
Rosy Odonnell joke so it could have been a HELL of a lot worse) in to a service order which was
brought to the attention of my manager. What with that and with me thinking The Captain was pulling the wool over my eyes it kind of put me over
the edge.
Sometimes I care who reads this, sometimes I dont. It would never hold up in a court of law as I'm a
known liar.
By the way, I am reassured The Captain has the best of my interests at heart. The Rat(9) and I played
SkipO last night, (I won) then I beat her father into submission later downstairs where no one could
hear his screams.
I happy girl now.
2:10pm: Mr.Next just called to tell me that he didn't want anything but to
tell me that
"I am loved".
- Aw.
3:20pm A couple of network boys saw me in the hall and called me "Miss porno". Ha Ha, laugh at my
misfortune will you? Luckily for me they haven't wandered to this site yet because they would be on
the floor laughing. Only a matter of time though. I am very fortunate to have a man who says I can
move in with him if needbe
3:25pm Mr Sta on the line right this minute, "are you married
yet?" He has known of me (one of those sisters) since high school and we date on and off, currently he
is at "off" status even though he did fix my garage door that I backed into for free.
Hung up on Mr.Sta for the 20th call today about the email virus - "your email account is being
disabled". Those virus makers are getting mighty tricky.
Mr.Sta would make a good boyfriend if he would quit standing me up and if I didn't have The Captain,
who I love today and who has never stood me up.
- Yet.
Three weeks in a row! Yea me.
Later kids.
P.S: if you happen to notice an increase in spelling errors it is due to the fact that Andrew at
diaryland is a lazy fucker who does not have spell check on entries and I'm trying not to
- "cut &
paste"
Three men told me they love me today, The Captain, Mr.Next and Mr.Sta. I must be loveable else those
boys are just saying that to trick me. Men think it's funny to trick me. It's not. It makes me angry.
I'm not very loveable when I'm angry. I'm scary.
7:15 a.m. 2004-03-05
got nothin
The Good Dan called around 8:00pm last night, just checking up on
me because I've been so depressed. He was the first boyfriend that I had that called every day. Captain Ron has called everyday since I gave him my phone number at
the Chinese Dance place. He called about 20 times on Sunday after "the wife"(verified legally
separated 2 1/2 years) called. She didn't say anything just "who is this?" I say, "well who did you
call?" and she hung up. The Captain said he told her that he was taking the kids and moving here with
me
- *he is not, maybe after the kids are out of school
off, not the fact that he is seeing me.
The Captain said he "may" be over when he called at 7 but he was 3 hours away. Wednesday night he
brought me 2 cases of shrimp. If he had said he wouldn't be over then I would have melted butter and
put some garlic in it and had shrimp with garlic butter for dinner. He ended up not coming over but
that was after I had eaten something that wasn't garlicy for dinner. I bet if he knew that 3
ex-boyfriends and Bub & Miss Donna,
told me they loved me, he would have been over. I can't tell him that though, he's been a basket case
ever since Sunday because he thinks I'm going to dump him. He doesn't realize that it is going to take
a hell of a lot more than "the wife" calling me at my house and asking me who I am. He's just silly.
So last night it's just me and the cat watching survivor. Some people have a tougher time at life then
others. Here we have Sue who has to endure the touching of the penis of a fat gay guy. Yet down in
Africa we have children getting their arms hacked off who take it in better stride. What's obscene?
Body bags of young men & women but that's just me becase I'm a pacifist. That's lucky though because
if I wasn't a pacifist I might go around killing people who whine about getting touched by the penis
of a fat gay guy.
I'm thinking I need to take a leave of absence from work awhile and be in a less stressful
environment. We'll see.
Choices... it's all about choices. And Zoloft.
~ Crankychick ~
Its always the strangest things that remind me to stay on track.
~ Inhale ~
No one called today and told me they loved me. I tell you it's
- Feast or Famine
and end up in a ditch or something, dead & bleeding from his eyes unable to dial my number with his
last dying breath. That would suck. I could just be being paranoid - that was the orginal diagnosis,
- Acute Hallucinatory Paranoia
but that was when I was living with Steve the Weirdo & smoking
the resins off his hands everyday. I don't do that anymore. Or mushrooms. Store bought ones ok, but
not the mind-expanding ones because one thing that you don't want is my mind anymore expanded.
Trust me on this.
Later kids,
7:51 a.m. 2004-03-06
Two tickets to nowhere
Missyb and I were suppose to go to a concert last night but it was postponed until May so we went up
to the Dog bar. The General was there and we talked him and a
couple of his buddies into taking us dancing at the Chinese dance place.
His friend told two jokes that I wanted to remember but I only remember one of them.
- in response to "why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free?"
- why put up with a pig when all you want is the sausage?
That joke seemed funnier last night. The other joke was REALLY funny but I cant remember it. Or maybe
it was like this joke, funny last night - not so funny today. We'll never know.
As I am currently "off the market" The General turned his sites to Missyb.
- MissyB and the Ken Doll only went out to dinner that one time and he hasn't called
her again. He's such a prince
Anyway, we double teamed him on the dance floor, I told him, "This is your lucky day" even though he
didn't get lucky. Missyb & I are going out to the Horse bar tonight dancing. Maybe the Italian guy
will be there. I haven't been there in a month.
The Captainis on his way back to the coast and wont be back until next Wednesday. His daughter TheRat (9) has
strep throat. Even though I'm still spending Friday and Saturday night alone, he is still better than
the Kendoll, I just wish I would have snagged someone just a little bit closer to home.
I'm going skiing now. Well after I go get my car. Where is my car?
9:49 a.m. 2004-03-07
Inclined not to cheat
The Captain got a $500 cell phone bill sohe quit calling me so much. It's mostly his fault because I'm not a phone talker. I'm more of a "state
your business" and get off of the phone. I'm on the phone all day at work. I had a "talking to" last
week again because I come across the phone as "abrupt" or as the customer complaining about it "rude".
She was whining about spam mail and wanted me to send out an urgent message to everyone in the company
about it. It appears she interpeted it like I blew her off but that is not my decision to make as I am
nothing but a peon, I mentioned it to the team lead at the time though. I've been having more then my
normal "takin to"s at work here lately. I'd better straighten up.
Anyway, The Captain talks and talks about leases and easements and how he is going on jury duty and
other stuff that I barely listen too but I don't say, "I'm done talkin to you" and hang up like
I normally use to do with the Good Dan because Dan told me that
was ONE of the things that I did that really hurt his feelings. After a $500 phone bill though I bet
he is wishing that I had.
My cell phone bill was $53 but $45 of it was Scary Dans because he
has my 2nd phone in case I need to call him to come pick me up. He forgot to hang up for a couple of
hours. Sometimes Scary Dan is smart, sometimes he is not. He hung his head in shame for being stuipd
when I was yelling at him yesterday for running up my cell bill. I have some "man shit" that needs to
be done around here, I think he'll be working that cell phone bill off fixing things.
Mr.Standmeupyetagain and I are suppose to go to a movie this
afternoon, if he doesn't stand me up again. He's a good friend but a bad boyfriend because he is
always standing me up so he is demoted to friend status until further notice even though if he doesn't
stand me up today, it will be the 3rd time in a row and he was promised an upgrade way back in
December. He's had plenty of time to not stand me up when I was dating a boyfriend I was inclined to
cheat on. That's all I'm saying.
5:40 a.m. 2004-03-08
Parental Guidance
Sunday I called my Mom and told her that I was having to take
medication for depression again. She said, "well, don't take those mind control drugs too long, I did
and they just made me crazier".
Yes mom.
My Jeep had a check engine light on it when I pulled out of my garage.
- Fuckin great
I took it in them fuckers bent me over and it cost me
$2800 even though it's under warranty. My warranty company is going through bankruptcy but I should
get the money sometime this summer. I think I'll start riding my bike to work. Sure wouldn't hurt my
fat ass none. Maybe The Captain can fix it when he comes to town
this week. If so. He's got a FREE blow job coming. And dinner. Also free.
More inappropriate use of company email from one of my co-workers:
Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude,
in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced
before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told
that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not
be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate,with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests
until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell
began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the
ground. Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, bent over to pick
it up and set off all the other bells.
1:27pm I just realized my shirt was on backwards all day. I'm the smartest person on the planet I tell
ya.
Weekend Recap.
- MissyB and I were going to go to an Eddie Money concert but was postponed until May so we went up
to the Dog bar and talked The General into taking us dancing and
driving us home. Get your mind out of the gutter folks the only pumping and grinding done was on the
dance floor.
- Went skiing. Glorious. Went to the Horse bar and danced with the Itailian guy and the bad breath
guy who is a good dancer and didn't have bad breath for a change so now I have to come up with another
name for him. As I was leaving BBG came up and kissed me on the mouth before I could stop him as I
wasn't expecting it because I never played kissy face with him. Just so you folks know that it's not
always me who is the one kissing on folks. I need a ring or something to remind these jokers that I'm
off the market.
- Got stood up by Mr.Standmeupyetagain so I ended up walking to
the mall and seeing Starsky & Hutch which was stupid and funny so I was entertained. I'm past the
point on waiting on men at home when I could be out seeing a stupid but funny movie. That's all I'm
saying.
Scary Dan came over later and we watch a really bad movie,
"Beastmaster" which was one of the worst movies I have ever seen and discussed the cell phone bill. He
said that he doesn't remember talking for 2 1/2 hours so I'll probably have to call the phone company
and see what number was calling.
My life is rather dull lately. It normally doesn't stay dull very long so stick with me.
6:48 a.m. cluck hens.html
Fucking Hens
Both the hens Todd & Paul are working right now so I know that they are
not reading my diary. I SUSPECT that they both have been reading it so I locked it up. I will unlock
it when I know they are at work which is now. Otherwise, you may go to
If you need a password, please email me and I will send you one.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Fuckin Hens.
Updated 3/30/2005
Ok, it is partially unlocked but I may lock it back up at anytime if I find them boys lurking around.
Just letting you fine folks know.
6:51 a.m. 2004-03-09
who's counting
How's that not drinking coming along?
men kept filling up my glass
I declare the 2nd week of my sobriety an overwhelming success as well. And I didn't kiss anyone I
wasn't suppose to except for that BadBreathGuy at the Horse bar that snuck in a kiss when I was
leaving. I should have popped him one. I'm not counting that as me
- "getting out of line"
because it wasn't me doing the kissing.
WAD just ask me if I wanted to do the St.Patricks day thing on
Saturday. The weather guys say it is going to be nice so I think I'll be skiing instead of sitting in
a bar all damm day drinking beer and being out of control. At least I hope it's going to be nice out,
else I'll be sitting in a bar all damm day drinking beer and being out of control.
6:37 a.m. 2004-03-10
Who's Normal?
Last night on Rippleys believe it or not there was this guy hung by pins inbedded in his back hanging
under a helicopter flying over the Hollywood sign. I think to myself. I am less insane than that guy,
that's for sure.
Since locking this thing up outside of school hours, I have been getting more hits(unique hosts)
instead of less. That's kind of freaking me out. A lot of things freak me out. I'm having to look at
the raw logs stats and try to figure out who all the hell you people are. Sometimes I care, sometimes
I dont. I'm likely to change the password at any given moment.
The dullness of normalcy has taken over my brain. I'm going to have to go refill those stinking pills
next week. When you take them EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY the bottle doesn't last as long. I'm only going
to take them until then end of April - that's when I see Dr.B
again and have to get my depakote level checked. After that, well we'll see. I dont like being normal.
10:00am boss called me into his office. I ALWAYS think I'm in trouble again when I get called in. He
just wanted a couple of year end reports. 10:18am Done. I rock.
12:42pm I've gained 7 pounds since taking the meds everyday. I'm not eating any different, it's water
weight that makes me bloated, they can put a man on the moon but they can't make anti psychotic drugs
that don't make me feel like a big fat cow.
picture courtesy of
Humandescent.com
I roller bladed for the first time this year. Six miles. Lots of rocks on the road yet, they need
to clean that up so I don't fall on my ass.
A normal-brained person would still be working on those year end reports instead of enjoying a
beautiful day rollerblading and playing on the internet.
2:00pm SusyQ the lady I walk with (2 miles) everyday for 1/2 hour said that I didn't seem insane to
her. I just think that she is easily tricked because she didn't notice. I forget sometimes that most
people just go by how sane you "look" as opposed to how you "think" even though sometimes I can look
into my eyes and see that I'm insane but I have the added advantage of looking both from the INSIDE
and the outside at the same time.
I figured out last night that I have been pacing. That is why I like to walk, I'm just pacing in a
straight line so it doesn't seem insane like walking back and forth. When I am home I go from room to
room, pacing but I didn't realize I was doing that until last night. I subconciously tricked myself.
4:39pm One of the ex's just called and talked to me
nice, we are going skiing next week. I'm tired of all the guys in THIS town. The Captain didn't call me all day yesterday so I don't know if he
will be in town tonight or tomorrow night. He needs to be calling me least I forget that I HAVE a
boyfriend, well a boyfriend that I'm not inclined to supplement.
8:00pm The Captain just called, he's so sweet.
He wont be in until this weekend so it's just me and the 
cat AGAIN, but my cat is not normal
either, she is pycho kitty. She seems normal to other folks but she doesn't trick me. I see right
through her
- "I love you mommy"
- "isn't it cute when I hit the delete button with my tail and you lose everything you've just
written"
and
- "you wouldn't ring my fuzzy little neck because I'm so cute"
tricks. Fucking cat aint normal.
Later kids.
6:57 a.m. 2004-03-11
Can you hear me now?
The Captainsays he doesn't have phone service on the island unless he climbs a rock but he tried his friends team
mobile phone and it works so he SAID he would get us new phones.
I still got that distrust thing going on because men lie to me all of the time so until I go over
there and see for myself, I'm only half believing everything coming out of his mouth.
You know what I hate, I hate waiting around for men to call. I really hated living out in Hell because the Good Dan would
always call and make sure I was home and not out having a good time. I'm thinking this long distance
thing might not work out or it might. Right this minute, I'm thinking might not but I'm likely to
change my mind at any given moment. I appear to be the slightest bit fickle.
Congrats to the baby makers Magic & Bub even though I try not to encourage that type of
irresponsibility.
Humandescent.com
Photoeditor in the hands of an incredibly talented psychotic
9:08am Joke from sister Murtle
Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were
the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I
got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been
completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy oh boy did we go 'round. Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am
automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his
fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in one year the
windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other
end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.
Guess I must have won that silly argument.
"Imagine if your mother had said all her life that she
wanted her body to be used for science, and then her body
was used to test land mines. I think that is disturbing,
and I think there are some moral problems with deception
here,"
Did my six miles blading and my 2 mile walk. Just keeping track here so it's nothing you need to be
reading.
2:21pm
Can the stock market get any lower? YIKES! I think I'm going to have to marry money. I need to quit
telling men that I date that my goal in life is to become a widow. I've gotten lots of men backing off
of the "Marriage thing" by saying that. I need to shutup.
I'm locking up my machine when I go to lunch or on my walk now and changed my password as both of them
know it. A passive-aggressive move directed at the hens. I never USE to lock
it up.
I'm kind of cranky today, I'm thinking I may just go have ONE beer.
Later kids.
10:23 a.m. 2004-03-12
Come hither young man
I was 2 minutes late for work today which isn't too bad considering that I had to walk 2 miles to go
get my car and have a chat & coffee with the morning bartender and go fill up my car with gas then
stop by Jack in the Box to get one of those sour dough jacks I was craving because I didn't get any
dinner last night unless you count wine. Most people wouldn't count wine. Like if someone asked me
"hey what did you have for dinner last night?" and if I say, "wine" they would just look at me weird
so instead I would say, "nothing, that's why I was late and had to stop by Jack in the box and get
one of those sour dough jacks."
Myron's joke:
- The only time I lie is at the unemployment office
- Are you looking for a job?
- Yes, I am
Some young cutie pie guy was waving at me across the bar to go sit by him but I just shook my head no
because he was sitting by one of the wives who hates me because she thinks I'm after her husband but
I'm not. I think this cutie pie guy was a nephew or something of hers. So he comes over to where Myron
and I are sitting I tell him,
- "I have a boyfriend that I'm currently inclined not to cheat on and
that he(cutie pie guy) is WAY too young and didn't your mother ever tell you about women you meet in
bars?"
This did not deter him from playing kissyface with me. I never notice anyone else playing kissyface
but where ever I go, men just come up and kiss me.
ScaryDan picked me up because he owes me and I'm not walking home
from that bar at night anymore because a month ago a young lady(22) got killed and dumped in a lot
right around the same neighborhood that I walk through.
No more walking home.
I don't remember taking a shower last night but I must have because I woke up not smelling like
cigarettes and with wet-bed hair.
Choices:
- go out and have a good time kissing on young cutie pie guys and joking around with Myron
- OR
Stay home and wait for someone to climb on a rock so he can call me which he didn't
The Captainneeds to be getting me an expensive ring, preferably something hawkable, to ward off such occurrences.
That's what I'm thinking.
8:29 a.m. 2004-03-13
Go about my business, feeling fine
"you're fucking hilarious"
I'm pretty funny alright. While standing in line behind 500 other people I was trying to convice the
crowd control usher guy that I actually Jewel's secret lover. Unsuccessfuly.
- "No one knows that I'm her secret lover because it's a SECRET."
Dumbass usher guy who wouldn't let me in front of the line.
I ran in to one of my sisters friend Chris, the Troll, Tammy and one of the ice guys. The Venue holds
like 1500 people who have to stand in line. If I got my ass in gear I could set up a cart on the
sidewalk and make tons of money on concert nights. I'm thinkin' about doing that. Just thinking.
Jewel didn't allow drinks to be served during her concert but you could go into the other bar and get
a drink and bring it in so all she accomplished was to take wages away from miniumum waged waitresses
and bartendars in the concert bar.
I stopped by the Norm bar to see my girl Friday because I haven't seen her since...."the slight
indiscretion"
we're cool.
Some girl flipped me off as she and her boyfriend was leaving because he talked to me. He's a pig who
thinks he is SMOOTH but he's not, he's a pig. She shouldn't have flipped me off because I never
encouraged him. It's not my fault she chooses to be with a pig.
This kind of took me by surprise when
Hippy Dave says,
I think "What the hell?" but after a couple more drinks I think "what's one more old hippy guy seeing
my titties? Besides he asked so politely.
I'm going skiing.
8:55 a.m. 2004-03-14
Allah has a much greater punishment in store for you
The Captaincalled sounding distraught. He was trying to get a hold of me unsuccessfuly yesterday when I was
skiing to see if he could meet up with me at the airport because he borrowed a friends plane for the
afternoon. Poor guy sounded like his guts were in his throat. He's having a tough time of it right
now. His truck (towing a boat) broke down in Seattle and he has so many irons in the fire, everything
in his life is complicated.
- He said, "you're going to dump me like you did Ken because I'm never
there"
Na, I dumped Kendoll because he treated me like shit. I told him
that Ken called about 10:30pm last night and his offer was summarily dismissed. This did not seem to
comfort the Captain, knowing that ex's are calling me. So I didn't tell him about the Good Dan taking me out to lunch today. Ken's not the one he needs to
be worring about. The Captain doesn't need to worry at all actually. I love him today.
Meanwhile, as I have an uncomplicated life, skiing was glorious. I rode up once with this 10 year old
red headed girl who thought she had it good because her parents were divorced so she gets a ski pass
where her dad lives and one where her mom lives. It's all a matter of perspective.
I rode down the gondola with this nice goodlooking man named Mark who said "I was refreshing". He was
a nice guy but any one who knows me, knows how I feel about Marks.
6:30pm The Good Dan laughed at me telling him about me flashing old hippy Dave. Most folks would
figure that a night out on the town flashing old hippies is "not being good" however, if you happen to
be me, it's considered "tremendously behaved".
Again, just a matter of perspective.
I wandered over to the mall this afternoon and watched the Arabian horse movie. I haven't been on a
horse since college days when I got bucked off and I landed on pavement. I thought that all of my
brains were all over the road because I hit the back of my head. I was afraid to move so I just laid
there until one of the neighbors came and aske< "Are you ok?.
- "Are my brains all over the
road?"
When I was a kid I use to get on horses that hadn't been broken in yet and they would buck off my
shoes then me, then the saddle. One time my dad came running out to the field because I was just
sitting there and not getting up.
"Are you ok?" --
- "yup, just puttin on my shoes"
to grow up, the fact that I no longer ride horses that haven't been broken in yet goes in the "I'm an
adult now column". Yea me.
This is me medicated and sober and take a hit for me Mr.Spanky as I'm not partaking of the finer herbs
anymore either.
YIKES.
Later kids,
totallyworthless worthless.html
The Worthless One
Way back in 1991 I dated this
guy who was WORTHLESS. I told his mother that the only good thing I had to say about her son was that
I didn't have to worry about him shorting out. I yelled at his father for not teaching him any "Man
Skills". At the time he was living with me I decided to replace all of the crappy cabinet handles with
nice brass ones. My mom was over and said, "you should get Worthless to get the top ones since he is
so tall" I say
- "Mom, it's all I can do to get him on top at night"
Anyway, The Worthless One work at the same bank as The Troll and
I. Everyday I would leave him a suggestive letter on his desk. When I was cleaning out my desk
Saturday I found some copies of my letters to him.. This one was the first
Dear Piece-O-Meat: I just thought I'd let you know that my respect for you has vanished into thin air along with any
|
That was before everyone in the world had email.
One day Cuntzilla (the graveyard shift operator) found one of my notes referring to him as a
- "Thigh Plier"
- "Could it be the troat lozenges I am sucking on may
increase the suction muscles thus being beneficial to us both"
still in the printer and promptly brought it to the attention of my manager who, bless him, read it
OUTLOUD at the 2:00pm meeting the next day with tears running down his cheaks.
| Dear Degrader of fine women,
|
I have kept about a 100 or so of THESE letters. It's a good thing that I never intend to run for
public office because it would just be one scandal after another. Just like my life during "The Lost
Decade" which I am trying my hardest to remember parts of and write here because it was REALLY REALLY
fun,
I just can't remember it.
Later kids,
2:31 p.m. 2004-03-15
I feel all safe NOW.
My sister Murtle said my niece,(20) who is in the airforce, is going to Iraq.6:54 a.m. 2004-03-16
Suspicious Minds
How's that not drinking coming along?
Apparently "not" as I have to walk to my car. Men just fuck me up.
morning when I walked to my car. The day bartender and I could spot him as a loser even though he was
REALLY good looking. Scam artist. I told him(the bartendar) I'm usually attracted to men like that,
kind of surprised I haven't dated him yet, luckily I'm drinking coffee this morning instead of beer.
watered down drinks and 3 ultralights is like "TWO drinks"
have ONE but old hippy Dave was there and bought me two more just because he is a nice guy and not
because I flashed him Friday night. That was a freebe. I try to do what I can to make peoples lives a
bit brighter.
Week total
- wine 7
- beer 6
- Long Islands 2
15 divided by 7 days is only around 2 per day which, according to Dr.B is probably an unacceptable level. Sometimes there is no
pleasing some folks.
The Captain didn't call me all day yesterday again and he changed his cell number again so I can't
call him, how hard is it to call and say "this is my new cell number" ? I would like to believe him
but it has been my experience that you men are nothing but a bunch of dam liars, not all of you, some
of you are dead. ~Bartlett
3:14pm
TheCaptain just called and wont know until later tonight if he will be over this week or not. I don't
know what I'm going to do with him....just don't know. I probably should have asked him his cell
number when I was on the phone with him, it just didn't occur to me to ask. I think I'm becoming
dis-enchanted with The Captain.
Theory Conspiracy conspiracy.html
Lost in the land of OZ
A short incomplete list of the forces
out to get Mom and her family because "they see the truth".
decades. That and proof that the Rapture is right around the corner.
That's why they were ambushed.
security numbers so he could get a petition going to sue the government. He left a propaganda pamphlet
that he published in my sister's suitcase. She is too polite to tell him he is "full of shit". I am
not.
them".
intense push for antidepressant consumption. Updated 11/2/03
little or no control over a car when it begins to hydroplane. You are at the mercy of the Good Lord.
Updated 11/06/03
operations of the corrupt banking plutocracy that owns and rules America, and is gradually and
clandestinely imposing a worldwide tyranny on the rest of mankind. Understand how international
bankers gain control of America.Updated 11/11/03
makes suppliers follow its pricing decisions. Updated 12/01/03
(Besides the cross reminds of the voodoo films of priests warding off the evil spirits.)And I don't
want to keep him on that cross for my disobedience to his wishes
Updated 12/13/03
China has made it clear that they want to replace the United States
as
the predominant power in Asia and much of the rest of the developing
world.Updated 12/16/03
AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors. Updated
12/16/03
understanding of how the world has been being run?
Updated 2/20/04
here perhaps to join the muslims to the christian faith and againt the jews?
Updated 3/01/04
plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam
their minds and break that union with Christ.Updated 3/02/04
- Mom quote:"I hate to tell you, but I wasn't crazy"
the New World Order -
Revelations and Explanations
at http://www.infowars.com/transcripts/ degranpres.htm UPDATED 3/28/04
From http://www.rumormillnews.com/
Scalar scientist Tom Bearden on the possibility that scalar weapons may be use to trigger a
super-eruption at the Yellowstone calders and how such weapons can be used to intiate earthquakes and
volcanos.
Yes Mom, if it's on the Internet, it must be true.
UPDATED 3/28/04
18th century. The Illuminati is an important part of the Luciferian
plan to control an antichrist world order. Adam Weishaupt was the
initial framer of THE PLANUPDATED 5/19/04
5 Easy Steps To Create A Manchurian Candidate Updated 9-27-04
- All righty then
The Lost Decade insanity.html
Insanity flare up
I'm bi-polar. I got this link from Proofrok who is a much better communicator
then I am.
Excert on Bi-polar:
|
I take my meds when I am at the "depression" stage.
This is what happens when I'm about to be locked up insane.
I think that TV programs are trying to program my mind. Hard to explain. At one point when I lived
with Steve the Weirdo I thought the TV could see inside the living
room. I called 911 once and told them that MTV was scaring me. I had an out of the body death
experience and heard messages through the TV and radio telling me things. Even when I put on records
it didn't stop. It is like an acid trip from what I understand but I never took acid. I become "one
with the universe" ~ delusions of grandeur and paranoia.
I've been institutionalize 3 or 4
times. The last time. St. John's Wart tea set me off. Evidently I am not suppose to be drinking it. It
made me euphoric. Murtle, next time, if it is between a hospital
and a state institution please choose the hospital. My doc had it arranged for me to go to the
hospital but my sister, bless her anyway, stuck me in the institution because she had a friend working
there. Bad decision. Ambulance alone cost $750 fucking bucks. They wouldn't let me out, even though I
wasn't suicidal but apparently I had made some "threats" to my manager at work. At least I have
resources and a great family. My sister Wink said that she came to
see me every day I was in there but I don't remember so I have to take her word on it. I feel sorry
for the people who do not have a supportive family. Perceptionss.
9:07 a.m. 2004-03-17
Happy Saint Patrick's Day
or
Kiss Fuck me I'm Irish
It's been almost a month since I've been laid if you dont count my girl Friday, which was just a
one time lapse of judgment that I am so well known for. My well documented career as a wanton slut has
certainly taken an unfortunate hiatus.
"I was going to do an entry about how...ah, never mind. It was just going to be more complaining."
~ LivingWreck ~
Things to do on St. Patrick's Day beside drinking.
1. Find a midget (not a dwarf), hit him on the head and see if he gives you some gold pieces.
2. Wear green, no one wears green on St. Patrick's Day.
3. When the bars close find a passed out drunk and write things on him in permanent marker, drawing a
penis across the forehead is always fun.
4. Go up to drunk guys or girls (depending on your sex) and tell them to kiss you you're Irish, if
they do then say "do me I'm Irish", it might just work.
5. Go over to someone's house that you don't like, give them green non-alcoholic beer but don't tell
them it's non-alcoholic and see if they act drunk.
6. Get some spoiled meat and make someone else eat it all the while telling them it's corned beef and
that's the way it's supposed to taste.
7. Put green food coloring in your mouth then run up to random people and tell them you just blew a
leprechaun.
8. If you find a leprechaun blow him to give a dose of reality to your fake story of blowing a
leprechaun.
9. Find someone that's Polish and beat the crap out of them.
10. If you're a guy unzip your pants in public and yell out "who wants to touch my shalalee", you
might find yourself in the drunk tank after all.
3:09 p.m. 2004-03-17
Cat People
My favorite sister Malibu Barbie & her friend JsCuteLittleFriend are working at my company this week (CPA's) so we went to Vietnamese
for lunch today. JCLF is going to Vegas with her sisters and new lawyer boyfriend is giving her $200
to take and gamble with. Any boyfriend who gives his girlfriend $200 to take to Vegas is OK in my
book. We talked about getting bit by dogs on the walk back. Once JCLF got bit in the ass by a dog and
ripped her new pants that she just bought. I got bitten when walking to the post office in Hell when I was living with the Good Dan. Both JCLF and I are now afraid of dogs, although JCLF is
more likely to use mace on them. My sister did not express an opinion one way or the other about dogs
but I know for a fact that she is a cat person as well. I do hope no cats were eaten during lunch. If
it was a dog, I wouldn't complain because if it was, it was mighty tasty.
If you are having problems seeing this site, (I am trying to lock it up without having to move or
REALLY lock it up because it pisses me off when people lock up their diarys that I'm reading) please
email me ms_k2@hotmail.com unless you are one of the Hens, they can go to hell.
Later kids,
5:00 a.m. 2004-03-18
She's such a freaky girl
Just when I think I've got it figured out someone, (we'll call him gerg69) emails me and says he can't see my site because he is
on a mac using a Safari browser. Can you see me now?
I'm trying to make this site only visible when the Hens are at work but I keep
changing my mind about it and fucking the scripting all up. I know that if I move they will just find
me there so this is just a little game I'm playing right now because I'm a paranoid freak.
Under the Contact there is a notify list. That is if you can see "contact section", I couldn't see it
under the Safari browser. If you join the notify list I will email you when I change the password or
move. I'm just getting too many readers that aren't leaving me notes so I don't know who they are.
They just read my site every day for free and think that I'm this weird insane person who doesn't need
to know their email. Well folks, that ain't right.
Of course they could just "wait it out" and check back during Monday - Friday 7am-4pm and read it for
free like they have been doing. Sometimes I care who reads this site. Sometimes I dont.
And dang that SaveCraig for being so
funny that I copy his url into a service order at work for the hens to trace back to my site.
No word from The Captain...I'm crushed, really, he'd better call
today because I'm going skiing with a bunch of guys tomorrow instead of working. I can't believe how
behaved I've been lately.
That behaving not going to last.
Courtney Love arrested atNYC nightspot
NEW YORK (AP) — A few hours after a loopy Late Show appearance in which she lifted her shirt to expose
her breasts at least six times, rocker Courtney Love was arrested early Thursday for allegedly
throwing a microphone stand and striking a man in the head.
- I'm thinking that that LOVE character has some behavior problems.
I'm not one to judge but I'm
guessing that when she dies, she's probably going to hell.
5:37 a.m. 2004-03-19
I'm sorry for anyone who is not me today
Last night MissyB invited me over for pizza and beer. Again no word from The Captain so I'm not sure if he is alive or dead. Have I told you
(men) lately how much I hate you? I HATE you.
I'm off skiing today suckers. Now skiing, I love.
I sent out a Notify list yesterday but I didn't get notified so I'm not sure it is working so I sent
another one. If you joined the list yesterday and got two notify notices, please disregard the 2nd
one. Thanks.
Later kids
lovetoski diamonds.html
Black Diamonds
Do you know what's better than taking a day
off work and going skiing? Going on a bus with 40 crazy people with a keg and vodka on the bus. that's
what.
The guy sitting next to me told me he would give me a dollar to eat a bananna. I got it up to $5.00
because I know how to drive a hard bargan.
I told nice truck guy to make my vodka grapefruit drink weak as it was 8:00am but he apparently wasn't
listening. His girlfriend says " I think you should give Janet a hug" how often does one hear that?
Joke: two nuns were walking along when a couple of rapists came and started raping them. One nun
goes,
- "forgive him father, he knows not what he does"
- "this one here
does"
A joke about nuns getting raped may not sound very funny, yet it was.
Go figure.
My joke:
- Nancy & Wendy
Two blonde sisters were working on a house. Nancy who was nailing down siding, would reach into her
nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. The other
blonde(Wendy), figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
- "Why are you throwing those nails
away?"
- "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me I
throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"
Wendy got completely pissed off and yelled,
- "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't
defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!!"
I skied with some snowboarders that go for 10 minutes then have to take a 5 minute break. Fuck you
guys... I came here to ski. See you at the lodge losers. Fucking snowboarders always wasting my time
sitting and resting up.
Sometimes I can judge my skill level.. sometimes I overestimate my skill level,
my inner thighs got quite the workout today.
This was a "work" bus ski trip. Every body knows me but they don't know who I am until we had to
introduce ourselves.
- I'm how can I help you? Janet at the helpdesk
Response:
I told them that when I'm bored, I randomly change passwords and revoke userids so the management
thinks we are busy thus giving me job security and if anyone on this bus gave me any more shit, come
Monday they are going to find themselves non-existant as far as the system goes and some one might
think of getting me a drink because how do you people expect me to sit here and not drink?
The final drops of the keg were finished at my house (as I have a party house). I believe I may have
kissed a half a dozen or so (fine young men) and then sent them on their merry way home.
I cannot believe how well behaved I've been lately.
So you think you want to kiss me do you?
I LOVE my life.
11:30 p.m. 2004-03-20
My best friends girl
The Captains friend Ruben took me out tonight he is currently sleeping upstairs. He has nothing "good"
to say about the Captain. Nothing. This is his BEST FRIEND. Humm. Ruban said the first time I saw you
I thought that you are WAY out of his league and someone must have been drunk. I'm not really sure if
I should take that as a compliment or not.
Ruben is taking me to a Metallica concert tomorrow night. Ruben would be a better person for me to
date however, I am not attracted to "stable men". Tis a shame. Maybe when I am OLDER.
metallica metallica.html
Off to Never Never Land
There was a 19 year old kid sitting next to me at
the Metallica concert last night.
Before the concertstarted he told me that he's sorry if he gets a little excited and goes out of control. I say, "out of
control is my middle name". Minutes of fun.
I told Ruben that Dumbass probably was there, he was. I saw him in
the hall and yelled, "hey Dumbass, where's Pete?".
That concert would have been more exciting had I'd been partying with Scary Dan all afternoon and took my sister Taz instead of my current
boyfriends friend who is a non-excited type of person and not been on anti-phycotic medication all
month and had a couple more drinks in me... I'm just saying, it would have been more enjoyable.
I always thought it was just me that has overwhelming urges to jump to my death off the balcony but
the 19 year old guy sitting next to me girlfriend said, "he just said the same thing". I like crazy 19
year old guys who get excited and want to jump to their death off of balconys. I don't know why that
is?
Ruben thinks that since he has told me that The Captain is an
- ass
- jerk
- non-reliable prick
that I should break up with him. Little does he realize that is what I normally date.
I only have to take my meds 2 more days then get my blood checked and I'm good for another year.
2004-03-21
I like being "not bored"
I made Ruben and I a wonderful omelet Sunday morning and we watched "Out of time", then went skiing
for 1/2 a day, watched "The Italian Job", went to the Metallica concert.
Sunday was a boring day. You wouldn't think it would be boring but the meds I have to take make my
brain bored. I don't like being bored. Ruben was not entertaining to me as most "NICE GUYS" bore me to
tears. I like being entertained. That good for nothing Captain best be coming to town this week and
entertain me. That's all I'm saying.
Later kids.
4:54 p.m. 2004-03-22
Another one bites the dust..
well, we'll see
Every time I meet a new guy I think that they may be the ONE. However, soon after, I realize that they
are just ANOTHER one. The Captain called and I told him that his
friend said he was 3 inches longer, 1 1/2 times thicker, and has twice as much stamina. This is a lie
of course, ~ OR ~ is it?
I like to keep my options open none the less.
To Everyone on the ski bus last Friday:
- Someone left a coat at my house. I'm guessing they MAY have
been a little drunk and forgot it.
It is at the helpdesk if you wish to pick it up but I will not be responsible for the ensuing
rumors.
Janet
I'm WAY cranky today.
10:07 a.m. 2004-03-23
one more way to identify the corpse
This morning -
I lose control again)
Still made it to work on time. Yea me.
I opened the psycho bitch door when I was talking to the Captain yesterday, not all the way open, just
enough to make him think twice about not keeping in touch. He dam well better be putting a twinkle in
my eye this week else that door is going to be swinging wide open. That would not be a "GOOD THING"
for anyone.
I had my review at work today, I told my boss that I always come out of those meetings with the
mindset "I think I need to work a little less". No worries. I have a job, getting a raise not now but
in July, my boss says," I would like to give everyone a raise now but everyone will get more if you
wait" I say, "sure those people are friends, but they are work friends so screw um".
I can alway tell that a lot of effort get put in to these "Performance Assessments". Example: Got me a
"7" out of ten on "Relationship Building"
- has this man even MET me?
and a "6" on "Market Insight"
- what the HELL does our company do anyway?
It's all nonsense.
My sister Malibu Barbie is working at my company this week. She
walked with SuzyQ and me today, she reads my diary but she never leaves me any comments. I think that
is kind of rude being my FAVORITE sister and all. She has stories as well, remind me to tell you
sometime of
- "THE DARK YEAR"
stripper) who help himself to her tips out of her tip jar. (Working 3 jobs to put herself through
college by the way) She, being the ever so diligent accountant, caught him. She passive/aggressively
from then on wrote the total amount of money she was suppose to have in the tip jar.
Don't get me
started about her bonds that she had when she was little and gave to dad who cashed them in to pay her
child support.
That's HER story.
- I forgot about the bond story. She would always save her money when she was little and give it to
dad to buy bonds. When she finished college she asked dad,
- "Hey dad, where are my bonds?"
"I gave them to your mother"
- Jen, "why would you do that?"
Conclusion: Dad=asshole
And why am I attracted to assholes you may ask? There ya be. Psych 101 folks.
Oops...I almost forgot to ask how's that
- NOT DRINKING
thing is coming along?
- Way better then last year when I cut my arm up after breaking into my house at 2:30am because I
lost my keys
drink at the Chinese Dance place to pick up the Captains friend Ruben, 2 glasses of wine at the Horse
bar with the Itailian guy, Ruben, & Bad Breath Guy
I'm guessing Dr.B is going to bitch about that amount which is
MORE than 2 1/2 per day,
- THAT IS
that lying up from my Dad and you fucking lying men.
Later kids
7:20 a.m. 2004-03-24
Anything but typical
The guy who organized the ski bus trip invitedme to the Country bar last night. That's the third time I've been in that bar. The first time was with
Mr.Next who left and I had to walk home, the second time is when I
met that guy who on our first date my friend Karl came up and
kissed me so it scared him away. Cant remember his name right this minute.. I shall look it up later.
Mr.GD that's his name. A couple of months is a long time in my
crazy world.
A couple of the regulars came up to me and said, "nice to see you again".. who the hell are you
people? I hate it when people remember me.
I sat at Mr.Skibus's table along with a half dozen fine young things and one old guy who use to work
with me. He says, "do you know who I am?" I say, "all you old guys look alike to me", He was a lady at
works lousy ex-husband and was puffing himself up because he knew me. I say,
- I know who you are now, you have more hair then I remember you having, are you using that Rogain
stuff?
All the other guys laughed at him. I like making men the butt of my jokes, especially lousy
ex-husbands of friends of mine.
I didn't have to buy one drink, not one. Ya gotta like that. Both the guys sitting by me have been put
into the "possible next one if The Captain doesn't pick up the pace" category. I was whining because I
haven't been laid in a month but Mr.Dreamy eyes said he hadn't had any in a year and a half.
YIKES.
It'll be a cold day in hell before I go a year and a half unless I'm in some kind of coma or something
and there are no perv graveyard shift assistants working. You may as well pull the plug.
That's
all I'm saying.
ScaryDan had to come pick me up, I'm guessing I'd better take him
out to dinner this weekend unless the Captain is in town. I best not be able to walk come Monday...I
mean it.
Fucking month.
11:27am -- bored bored bored. I wish you people would entertain me today
I fixed the "hiding from the Hens" Script:
script
var x= new Date();
var dayofweek = x.getDay();
var y=new Date();
var h=y.getHours();
var xframes="n"
var xweekend="n"
var xhens="n"
var xok="n"
if(h>6&&h<16) xhens="y" length ="=" xframes="n" xframes="y" dayofweek="=" xweekend="y" dayofweek="=" xweekend="y" xframes="=" xhens="=" xweekend="=" xok="y" xframes="=" xok="y" xok="=" location="http://miss--k2.diaryland.com">
So if you can't see my site and you get the little kid flipping you off that is why.
I almost feel like working. I'll try to shake that off.
11:37am perhaps I'll take this opportunity to clean my desk
12:44pm med free one day.. just waiting until the sanity wanes and then I can be entertained by the
voices in my head.
12:47pm I'm wondering if they ever monitor my internet use, oops the boss, got to look busy
12:54pm Whew, close one. Where does that SaveCraig get all that funny shit. I think I'll randomly read his diary today even
though he is responsible for the HENS finding my diary in the first place.
SAVECRAIG Quotes:
- I saw a guy at lunch with red string stuck to his butt, I would've said something but then I'd be
telling a guy that I was looking at his butt.
annoying girl just asked how my weekend was, I replied 'fine'.
I didn't ask how her weekend was because if I did I'd still be listening to her instead of typing
this.
- I just saw a guy with a button on his coat that said 'No War', at home he probably has a poster
that says 'Gore/ Lieberman in 2000!'
Talk about backing the wrong horse.
1:15pm Pretty funny stuff folks. Time for my 1/2 hour break in ten minutes.
2:10pm back from my 2 mile walk with SuzyQ. It was crappy outside so we walked down in the tunnel.
Luckily for me it was nice when I walked to my car this morning at 6:30am. I'm hungry today because I
didn't eat any dinner last night unless you count wine. I had two breakfasts though and tomato soup
for lunch. TheNewGuy has rocky road energy bars, I think he might be sharing one of those bars with
me.
YIKES:
- Calories 210
- Fat 7
- Carbs 23
- Fiber 1
That's like 5 points and I'm only SUPPOSE to have 20 points all day.
No wonder I got a fucking fat ass.
Fucking NewGuy for sharing.
2:42pm More SaveCraig Quotes:
my office manager said she had a dream and I was in it, she said I was eating pudding (mmm, pudding)
and to be funny I shot it out of my nose...
that sounds about right.
3:18pm Tonya just called and said she would be over Friday to
clean the Weenie Wagon. I could save $30 and clean it myself but she needs the money and I hate to
clean. My first event is on April 3rd so hopefully I can make some money because I'm really poor. Not
poor enough to clean the Weenie Wagon myself but poor enough to whine about it.
3:22pm I wish the Captain would call and tell me he is coming to town
- OR
from last night who got my number but probably wont call because I said I had a boyfriend. How stupid
was that of me?
4:38pm got busy there for a minute updating an "ANAL Report". Earned my keep today.
4:46pm blogrolling is down. That sucks because I blog roll all you people. I wonder if Joe Cartoon has
anything new for me?
4:47pm Nope.
4:49pm The Onion: Hippie Will Tell You What The Real Crime Is
Wait a minute is Hippy spelled
"HIPPY" or "HIPPIE"?
I'll take this opportunity to look it up for you folks.
hip·pie also hip·py ( P )
Pronunciation Key (hp)
n. pl. hip·pies
- A person who opposes and rejects many of the conventional standards and customs of society,
especially one who advocates extreme liberalism in sociopolitical attitudes and lifestyles.
Now you know.
Jim Anchower
5:12pm Then there's this war. Man, that shit is fucked up. We sure showed that crazy camel-fucker
who's boss. I just wish it would've taken a little longer. I had this great idea for a T-shirt. It's a
picture of Saddam Hussein, and it's got a target on him, and it says "Saddam's Insane," 'cause that
guy is nuts.
5:16pm There are 444 messages in my deleted items from the last 2 days. I wonder if they will let me
change my WORK internet email address.
5:17pm still no call from the Captain. I'm calling him...no answer. Probably over on the Island and
not on the rock where he can get service. Of course there is the slightest chance that he is married
with 6 children and is just using me for sex or he lives with his mother and is using me as a cover
for his homosexuality. Fucking lying men.
TYPICAL.
5:52pmThe Captain just called and told me ithurts his feelings when I leave messages threating him with physical harm. AWE. I love him today.
Sure hope he's not lying.
Later kids.
10:57 a.m. 2004-03-25
lie to me somemore darlin
Apparently Tuesday night Mr.DreamyEyes called about 6 times but I didn't check my messages until
Wednesday night. The first time he called was at 9:30pm, I was at the Norm bar, and said, "This is Rob
just thought I'd give you a call" but the other 5 times he called he just hung up which I think is
rude but am willing to cut him some slack if the Captain doesn't come to town this weekend.
Mr.DreamyEyes is pretty.
Very busy today. Not really WORK related but Weenie Wagon work related. I picked up like 9 horse shows
at the fair ground because their normal vendor quit. Whoo hoo!
This is odd, The Captain told me last night that the new cell phone that he just got is in the "not
quite x-wife's" name and the last time she saw a call to me on the bill she tried to sratch his eyes
out.
- Hummm...
Very odd, I'm thinking The Captain might just be "full of shit" kind of a guy. We'll see.
You gotta love Australians though. Bless their little hearts.
~ Edgarfrog ~
Such a sweet lovely entry. I wish more of you people would write about such things without having
names like "fuckmeharder" in the domain name. Edgarfrog just sounds like a site about a frog named
Edgar but really it's all about butt fucking and other such topics. See folks, I'm at work here and
"Fuckmeharder" would likely set off the "PORN FLAG" where as "EdgarFrog" would not. Unless they read
an entry, any entry, then it would be, "I'd like to see you in my office" again.
I changed my work internet address. It's nice not to have to filter through 200 crap emails a day.
Although I do miss the FREE PORN.
This is my favorite picture ofmy little sis Malibu Barbie with Garfield. She was somewhat of a homely child yet she is not homely
looking any more. So if you happen to have a homely looking kid and you're thinking,
- "God what did
I do to deserve this butt ugly child,"
there are plenty of cute kids that grow up to be BUTT UGLY adults so you cant always figure it out.
I'm glad I didn't have any. That's just one less thing I have to worry about. It's great to be me, no
worrys, except for the fucking lying men in my life but that's mostly my fault because I find fucking
lying men entertaining.
- It's a flaw.
Explain something to me, will you people? Why are those smilie folks so pushy? Poping up in my face
all of the time, spamming me. Has anyone ever actually BOUGHT a smilie? EVER. I'm taking your silence
as a no.
10:01 a.m. 2004-03-26
Fine, call the police
Under the heading of
NOT GOOD IDEAS:
because it was icky outside so you spent the day cleaning the Weenie Wagon because Tonya did such a
half assed job of cleaning it even though you paid her $30.
no matter how yummy those apple martinis are
drinking and/or are drunk about how little respect one has for the
current management
your money was spent on jager shots for Darla who is moving to England with
her yummy English boyfriend and apple martinis.
wallet when he should have just drove you home in a couple of hours
because he lives close by and whenever his BMW breaks down you let him
borrow your car for FREE until his car gets fixed.
more downtown to pick up another fare then wanted money and said he was
going to call the police.
- "fine, call the police, I'm calling Scary Dan"
Other then the fight with the cab driver I was relatively behaved and didn't
play kissy face with anybody as most of them were "work friends" and it's
just not a good idea to play kissy face with "work friends" like last Friday
night.
I've been on hold with American Express for a fucking hour.
Where's my car?
6:43 p.m. 2004-03-27
Egads, what has he done now?
The Captain called and told me that both his mom and the
not-quite-yet-ex-wife are having a "MEETING" with him tonight in Moses Lake but he doesn't know what
it is about. He did ask me not to answer the phone if it rings though. Maybe it's just me, but I find
that rather an odd request. Stay tuned.
Note: if you happen to pick up a friends wallet at the bar be sure to call and tell them that you have
the wallet before they spend all day canceling credit cards and looking for their passport. Just a
thought.
2004-03-28
You got another thing comin'
No word from The Captain. NONE. I'm thinking he got caught using
the trust fund money from his stepson to make a realestate deal and it fell through or maybe he lost
custody of the kids or maybe is lying in a ditch some where or maybe he knocked up some hooker. I just
don't know because the fucker hasn't called. I've had enough.
NEXT.
It's my one year aniversity at diaryland today.
A lot can happen in a year in my crazy world.
I've noticed that:
10:30pm knock knock... who's there? why it's the Captain who I haven't seen in a month and can only
stay 10 minutes. I gotta say folks, he sure stood up well to a full force pycho bitch from hell
yelling at him.
- How FUCKING hard is it to FUCKING call?
been married.
Apparently, the Saturday meeting was about me and him moving with the kids here. I told him,
- that
offer has been resinded
and further more, looking like a puppy who's been repeatively kicked will not cause me to withdraw the
demotion to "piece-o-meat".
He's on his way back to the coast, I got nothing, just a little kissyface. Man I did better with
the work ski bus guys I had no business kissing on. Sometimes life aint fair.
I should have stabbed him. Stabbed him in the eye. Then maybe he would think twice about not seeing me
for a month and not calling.
10:34 a.m. 2004-03-29
What happens at Fast Eddies
Big boss guy standing by my desk; I say,
- Please disregard our conversation last Friday night as I
was probably drunk and I've been lying to men in bars for many years
He says,
- What happens at Fast Eddies,
Stays at Fast Eddies
Cool.
ScaryDan came over yesterday after I had got back from skiing and
brought Crocodile Hunter, that Croc guy is INSANE. I took Dan to a Chinese buffet for picking
me up Friday night. When Dan was talking, there was one sentence of his that by the time he said the
last part of I had forgotten what the 1st part was so it made no sense. He normally makes sense.
We watched part of the old Star-trek movie when they were going through a worm hole Dan looks over
at me and says, "they way they are talking is part of the movie right?" I say, Well that makes sense.
2:55pm So I'm sitting in the dentist office waiting to pick up my whitening stuff and this nice man
and his wife who's arm was in a sling came in. I ask,
- "What did you beat her?"
The nice man asks me, "that's a strange thing to ask, have you been beaten?"
- Nope. Not tolerated in our family...and I proceed to tell of my great-grandfathers untimely death
from rat poison
The nice man says, "you remind me of our daughter, I told her we would have a better chance of getting
her married off if we would get a muzzle for her"
- What do you mean by that remark mister?
Receptionist says, "Father, we're ready for you now"
There ought to be a law that men of the cloth should tell you before you start flipping them shit. Man
if I don't end up in HELL for my fornicating around, it will be for not having one of those muzzle
things.
9:12 a.m. 2004-03-30
Reality for instance.
I got out bid on a espresso machine on Ebay yesterday.
Current price: US $355.00
Your maximum bid: $350.00
End date: Mar-29-04 12:57:18 PST
Good thing too as I have NO money and payroll screwed up because we were suppose to be paid today
but we're not getting paid until tomorrow. I think I have $3. I'd better make some Saturday at the
Ham radio show else can you say, "CASH ADVANCE".
How's that NOT DRINKING coming along?
Mr.DreamyEyes.
control if you count me talking to the big boss and getting in that fight with that cab driver. Some
people may not count THAT as being out of line. Some people would. Fuck them.
Captain was going to come to town or call.. which he did not. I haven't been getting laid a lot.
My sister Taz is coming to town Saturday night to party. She's
crazy. How she managed to stay out of mental wards all these years is beyond me. A lot of things
are beyond me, reality for instance as in
- re·al·i·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-l-t)
n. pl. re·al·i·ties
That which exists objectively and in fact: Your observations do not seem
to be about reality.
Edgar Frog: I was thinking
maybe AOL could just lower their price to like one dollar a month until gas prices go down.
- How that Edgar Frog:
manages to stay out of mental institutions is beyond me as well.
The Alton boys just called, "MissK your summer tires are bald"
- Can you pull out the studs on my winter tires and use them?
- please note: if you are a man and think this is a stupid question to ask. fuck
you
That would cost you more in labor then new tires.
Fuck.
3:21pm Just got off the phone with a guy who makes at least twice as much as I do because he sent an
email to his boss and it didn't show up in his
- "SENT ITEMS"
folder. Remoting into his pc I see he has sorted his SENT ITEMS folder by subject instead of by date
so I fix that.
- "Oh, there it is"
I say, "well don't you feel..."
- I hesitate due to me always being in trouble
He finishes my sentence with, "silly". Yes silly would be better to use while working with higher
ups than STUPID. Probably, but STUPID fits better. I love my job today, I shall
endeavor to use the adjective "Silly" instead of "Stupid" as long as I know deep down underneath, I
mean STUPID.
3:37 I'm just twirling around in my chair now. Well not RIGHT now. I had to stop because I was getting
dizzy.
I got my bald summer tires on now. TheNewGuy drove me to pick up my car. His car is a piece-o-shit, I
hope he gets hired for real (currently a temp) even though he is one of the Hens. Todd and TheNewGuy are into the GPS games and find trade toys then log it
into a website. I think it is stupid, oops, I meant "Silly".
3:52pm News of the Weird
- A case report in the January issue of the Indian Journal of Chest Diseases
and Allied Sciences described a 27-year-old woman with an unshakable cough who, based on a radiograph,
was found to have a condom lodged in her "upper right lobe bronchus," which eventually she disclosed
to doctors had happened because she had accidentally "inhaled" it during fellatio.
So glad it wasn't me "going down" in history for THAT. Excuse the pun.
Later kids.
8:57 a.m. 2004-03-31
Blondes are notorious whores
And me? I can't give it away. I got nothing. Ok maybe a little kissyface in the parking lot. That'll
hold me.
Mr.Dreamyeyes bought me a glass of wine but it was my 4th one so unless I wanted to get falling down
drunk, which I did not as it was a school night and it's just not a good idea to get falling down
drunk when you are trying to pick up a guy.
Leaving FREE wine on the table when I left, WASTEFUL. Mr.DreamyEyes is WAY too nice of a guy
for me, doesn't gamble, told the waitress to turn the music down when the Scorpions
came on when I was thinking "turn it up", encouraged me NOT to drink the 4th glass of wine even though
he bought it for me. I just can't figure you men out.
You're just silly.
- Please see yesterdays entry
regarding the word silly
Mr.Spanky asks:
- "What is the average survival rate of male creatures in your captivity?"
They all survive, scarred but alive. Normally after me, they settle down with a NICE girl and live
happily ever after except for Scary Dan.
Tell us how you really feel.
ASK A SLUT
- "What is the average survival rate of male creatures in your captivity?"
Who the hell cares?
Perhaps I'll be a little nicer once the bitterness of my last entanglement subsides. Don't hold your
breath.
3:04pm bitterness subsided - hopefully no one held their breath, sometimes it takes DAYS for me to
get over it.
All right then back on the horse. Reopened my Crack Ho
ad. Lets see what kind of responses I get this time.
So Mr Spanky, do you want a piece of me? One
would think that you would be thankful you live on the opposite side of the continent as I know you've
been reading me for sometime now. Are you just looking for trouble mister? Are ya?
